My Secrets to Managing Everything

How Do I Manage To Do Everything? 

I get asked this all the time! The question is usually phrased like this, "You have four kids, work full time, have a side hustle, grow a garden, raise animals, and cook at home. How do you do it all?". My normal quick response is, "I just do it." But that response doesn't help anyone who might want to know my "secret," which is another thing I'm often asked, "What is your secret?" So here are my secrets to managing it all.

It's not that hard, I promise! You'll find it easy once you learn the basic knowledge and simple ways to do things in these three areas—home, Garden, and kitchen. I know you think I'm crazy, but it will make more sense once we break down a couple of beginning steps. Then, you will better understand why the Cottagecore lifestyle is for me.  

Secret 1: Stop Trying To Do It All

 This secret applies to parents, spouses, and individuals. The advice is the same. 

My Children Help: 

• First, I'm not doing all of it by myself. I couldn't. Trying to be a super mom is unfair to my family and me. My whole family is involved with different aspects of the homestead. Each of my children has age-appropriate chores. They have a rotating schedule that helps them share in the daily animal feeding and house chores. We choose to pay the kids to help them learn financial responsibility, but I know several families included it as a part of family life.

• The children are a physical part of the homestead that gives and takes away. They take care of the animals, and those animals provide food for them. They help with the garden and receive one of their favorite snacks. They do chores inside the house because they contribute to the mess.
• The most significant part of this secret to managing is that you are helping to show your children that they are part of this big, old world we were blessed with. They learn that they have value and purpose in our family. When we all work together, the work gets done faster, and we all have more time to focus on what we want. 

 

 Planning Together: 

• My husband and I split up the homesteading areas. Each of us is naturally better at different places and aspects. We always discuss decisions and plans with each other, too. I'm just better at remembering all the details than he is! 

 Teaching My Children Life Skills:

• My oldest daughter and I take turns cooking supper, making enough for leftovers, so we don't have to worry about cooking lunch. Of course, sometimes it doesn't work out that way, but that's okay. The younger children are slowly learning to cook and bake, too. 

Family Helps With The Family Business: 

• When we go to craft markets, farmer's markets, and festivals, my kids and my father help with setup and customer service. It's a family affair in which we all participate.     

              

Suppose you don't have children or a spouse to help and break up the everyday tasks. Can you let one of them go? Your secret could be scheduling them weekly to help spread the workload. 

Does this all go smoothly and ideally all the time? Noooooooooo. 

This leads us to the next step. 

Secret 2: Let Go of Perfect 

I admit that this one is tough. I am naturally a perfectionist, and it has taken me years to loosen that mindset. You feel the pressure to be the best no matter what area it is in your life. What will people think of you or your family? Someone doesn't believe what you did is good enough? What if you are on a different level than someone who might be doing the same thing? The secret to managing this part of my life is I've accepted that this is the type of person I am, so I work on letting things go.

"Being Perfect" can show up as many things: 

• The way your house looks.
• Trying to be a super mom. 
• The way you and your family look when you go out. 
• What do other people think about you? 
• Are your kids involved in what is popular right now? 
• If everyone else is going, we have to too.
• Do I look good on Social Media?
• Requiring that the kids do all the chores perfectly

 That last one is my struggle currently. My kids are old enough to do their chores properly, but their perfection will differ. I have to keep reminding myself of that. The goal isn't perfection. The goal is for everyone to participate as a whole family unit, learning to help and complete a task. 

Your Current Season In Life:

I also have to remind myself that three of my kids are 10, 9, and 8, and expecting a clean house all the time is a battle I will not win. But, I ask them to clean up after themselves, lifting the burden off me. This messy age is just a season of life that will not last forever. 

Even though we all know that no one is perfect and that perfection is a fantasy we will never achieve, we still dwell on it. This adds extra stress and worries to our lives, removing the simple joy of living. 

I'm not saying go to Walmart in your pajamas. I suggest you take one thing you stress over being perfect at and see if you can take it off your "perfect" plate. You will be surprised that your life becomes more straightforward once you start doing this. A simpler life also means time to slow down. 

I wanted to live my life. I found it easier to let go of wanting to be perfect and worrying about other people's thoughts. One of those goals is to stop and enjoy a simple life. 

Secret 3: Slow Down

The areas I mentioned in Steps 1 and 2 can keep us from achieving this step, but so can the things around us. Just because our modern world runs 24/7 doesn't mean you have to, too. Stores are even open 24/7. You now live in a world where you can get instant gratification in most things, especially in the tech sector, which is incredible if we use it in moderation.

Here are some other examples too: 

• My job as a mom is to take my children to any and every activity they are interested in participating in. 
• I must say yes to everything people ask me to join in or help with.
• My job IS my life.
• A filled-up calendar is a badge of honor. 
• Spending time on things I enjoy is selfish.
• People will think negatively about me if I don't attend or do that. 

It's okay to say no! Yet, this was another thing that took me years to learn, and guess what? When I finally said no, the world didn't end. I felt so much better afterward, too! It gets easier each time you say no to busyness and activities. 

Once you free up time from things you didn't want to do in the first place, you will be amazed by how many personal goals you accomplish. This is how I accomplish everything I want to! 

My Cottagecore Lifestyle: 

If you were to list what you want your life to look like, what would be on it?

Here is a look at mine: 

• Simple living
• A home that feels safe/ warm/ a refuge 
• Surrounded by nature
• Good wholesome food
• Be self-sufficient 
• Spending time with my family 
• Teaching my kids skills
• Grow a garden 
• Create crafts and art. 
• Slow down and enjoy life.

As my list naturally grew and became a way of life for me, the more I realized I had grown to adopt the Cottagecore lifestyle. 

Most of you are wondering what Cottagecore is. 

Well, I will cover that in the next blog post of this series. Intro to the Cottagecore Lifestyle: What is Cottagecore? 

Thank you for stopping by our Modern Cottagecore Homestead!